Wednesday, March 18, 2009

3 Series

Reading a comment made by a friend, to a friend in a Facebook makes me realized that I was not alone in facing a dilemma, which in fact is not a dilemma at all, but the truth that I have to embrace when the time comes.

Before you start saying that age is just a number, let me just say this, I DON'T BUY IT. I am not being bitter about my age, but who wouldn't wish that you'll be 25 forever, or whatever age that you thought you are at your best form, be it physically or otherwise.

Whatever people would say to me, I'll still carry a sadness that soon, very soon enough, I would become a thirty something. No more twenty-something. Of course, I am hoping that when I finished my first year of being thirties, I would feel much better than how I am feeling now.

The thing that I am glad about by having years behind me is that I could definitely say that I am more mature, more in control of myself, and look at life being less analytical. Of course, you might say that maturity does not correspond with age, but I am not using your benchmarking. I am competing and measuring up against myself, so I am able to say that I deserved a pat in the back for what I am today. Angkat bakul you say? Sukati akulah.

I have stop reading or listening to all the motivation talk which I now deemed as crap as now I have been taking my life a day at a time, by still holding on to my own basic life principles. Religion does help, and I am glad that I am getting a little bit closer to understanding of my religion at this age because I have become less resistance to the facts and idea being presented, as compare to 10 years ago.

I have become more accepting to whatever physical things I carry on my body, well, except the excess fat of course. I do not feel threathen anymore standing next to a beautiful girl, in fact I cherish the beauty that they have. I do noticed that I have received less second-look by men in the past 2 years, but that doesn't bother me too. It makes life less complicated that way, I dress up according to what I want, or what Babai prefers without thinking too much of other people's opinion anymore. Don't be mistaken, I still like to dress up. I am a woman, it's my privilage ok. If you can't accept that, sukati kau lah..

Sounds bitchy huh? I still need to once in a while.

Oh ya. My cooking has also improved tremendously. That is from a girl who learn how to cook only at the age of 18, haha. I appreciates the positive and negative comments made by Babai, and I look forward to become more experimental in my cooking, instead of doing a standard daily cooking.

In terms of money.. er... I still couldn't see any improvement. Of course my salary scale increased every year, but my needs changed along the way. My taste have changed too, so it is almost impossible to become a millionaire in this life time without growing my money wisely.

I think I am just babling again without any direction. When it is nearer to the day, I will try to write a post which reflects more than a quarter century of my life in conjunction of my 'coming-off age'. We'll just wait and see la. No promise to myself.


Willie said...

Hi Sumuk,

Hahaha! Thinking about your age again do you? Well, don't worry, I did like what you did. Like you, I am concern about getting old too especially when we talk about our physical capabilities. Younger people are more energetic and happier. Hahaha!

Well...It's good that you see some positive side of being 30s. I agree with your points. I see many things have changed when I am in 30s. And when you said "money doesn't improve"? That is 100 percent agreeable. Hahaha...

One Other ... said...

You dont need second-glances from any men, but then again, that doesnt mean you're not beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And you already have him in your life. So let's toast and to hell with what other people think of you. :-) CHEERS!

lvynana said...

erm...layan jak lah.

Sumuk said...

Willie : I couldn't help thinking and worrying about it since it will be in just a matter of days.. I did not know guys also worry about the same thing?

One Other : I think I am sometimes being too nice to some people, even those who I called friends. Muahaha! CHEERS!!

lvynana : Don't worry, you are not oblige to layan me.

nur enjel said...

"I do not feel threathen anymore standing next to a beautiful girl,"

i don't feel threathen sumuk...but i feel small ...that was last time im not the way, i think you're strong ..good for you.

Sumuk said...

nur enjel : how not to feel threathen by beautiful girls is to see them thru the eyes of a guy. However, I am confident enough too that I don't feel threathen if Babai is looking :D

If you have known me personally for a long time, you would have known that I have become 'softer' than what I was before.

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