R.G. In Memory Part 1

Note : This post is very long and personal. Thank you.

I think it's about time that I should talk about what had happened in my January posts. I've done a deep thinking about it, and I think I will only reveal some facts based on my personal account, and also out of respect for the families involved. I also decided to write this because some of the close relatives who were not there might want to know what the deceased went through during his last 4 months of his life.

Now that we have been safely gone through the registration, I feel more relaxed and able to let other things go it's own course. Not that I can't stop it if anything goes wrong.

It all started a week before we left for our Christmas trip back home. If some of you notice, we had been talking about going to HKL almost every week. It was actually to visit Uncle Raynold, who had gone through a kidney transplant after being on dialysis for about 18 years.

Uncle Raynold is Babai's maternal uncle. Personally, I do not know Uncle Raynold very well. My first meeting of him was during Christmas 2006. I didn't talk much with him. I was quite surprise by how fragile he looked like, and I did not know how to go about him. During that trip, Babai families organized few gatherings, and I was informed that however sicked he was during that time, he always made sure that he will be able to attend all the gatherings. Due to his sickness, he was unmarried. But he was showered with so much loved from his family members, especially his sisters and other extended families.

After 18 years on dialysis machine, finally a matched donor was found and an operation was arranged on 23rd August 2008 in HKL. After almost a 10-hours surgery, he made it through and an hour after the surgery, he even managed to wave his hand to his sisters who were all waiting outside the ICU doors. There were lots of cries that day, out of happiness, of worry for the road to recovery was far ahead, and the risk of rejection was yet to be out of the way.

During the first month in the ICU, Uncle Raynold recovered painstakingly slow but with the moral supports from his immediate families, he showed more improvement until on the second months he was transferred to the Observation Ward. The new room had 2 occupancy and facing to the hospital compound. I remembered he seems to get more stronger everyday. He could move slowly around the room and was very glad to be able to look out the window and saw the days went by.

Few weeks later, the hospital moved him to another room, which was windowless and for 1 occupancy only. It was quite private, but in my opinion, it was also stuffy and seems to look depressing. At first, Uncle looked fine and he continued to do some breathing exercise and able to eat food that was being prepared either by me or another relative. Sometimes he would say that he felt bored, but we kept on encouring him to concentrate on getting well first. He celebrated his 53th birthday in the hospital, and Babai gave him a Ducati T-shirt, of which he said, "yeay!" and smile happily. By the way, Uncle Raynold used to be a hardcore bike rider in his younger day, and I think he was Babai's idol and inspiration.

I could not recall exactly when, but it was around this time that he started to mentioned that he wanted to go back to Kuching just in time for Christmas. He mentioned it to us during one of our visit there. When I heard his request, I started to feel a bit uneasy.

Normal recovery from the surgery would take about 3 months, and the risk of body rejection to a new transplant could only be declared cleared after 2 years. Based on my own observation, since Uncle Raynold has suffered from his illness for a very long time, and at the rate of his wound healing, it would definitely took at least half a year for him to recover.

Based on that calculation, I thought to myself, how would it be possible for him to go back on Christmas? Uncle Raynold should know his condition better than the rest of us. Besides that, he was under a group of specialist care, and HKL have the best facility and the most experience personnel to look after him compare to other hospital.

I realized that some of the relatives who heard of his wish also felt uneasy. But every time he mentioned it, they will persuade him and gave him their moral support. I understand how he felt. All this years, he was surrounded by such a loving and protective family, and now the loneliness crept up to him. He was always glad to see his nephews and nieces-in law when the weekend came, but I know he missed his old and familiar surrounding too.

A week before Deepavali, he called Babai to say that he had a slight fever. This raised an alarm to both of us, as fever is one of the first sign of rejection. Babai got to the hospital the soonest he could, but after a biopsy, the doctor confirmed that the kidney was doing quite fine, only it needed more time to be more active.

To kept his spirit up, the doctor granted a 2 days outing for him, and we arranged to bring him home with us during Deepavali holiday. He looked forward to it, as he bade goodbye to the nurses. At home, after a dinner outing with a cousin, Babai watched a DVD with him until midnight while I excused myself.

to be continued...