Saturday, November 14, 2009

Is Pre-Marriage Course An Unnecessary Burden?

I have once came across a forum while researching for some info regarding Catholic Pre-Marriage course. There was an old discussion regarding the issue of the government plan on making a Pre-marriage Course (PMC) a compulsory for all prior to marriage registration, as one of the proposal on how to reduce divorce rate in the country.

I left a comment on some info regarding Catholic PMC, and in a matter of few minutes bumping the thread, there were lots of response came in in the form of opinion whether PMC is really necessary and not an additional burden, whether it really works and beneficial to the couple and whether it can be proven to reduce divorce rate, which was the the government utmost objective.

There were few very opinionated forummers having a heated discussion to the extend that some were being character assassinated. Having my motto of "Arguing in the internet is like participating in a Special Olympic. You won the race, but you still a retard" (no offence intended to the less fortunate), I backed off, sat back and watched.

For those who were against the motion, they were saying that government obejctive to reduce divorce rate is wrong in the first place. Divorce by itself is not wrong, and normally it is the last resort taken when the path has reached the end. In a way, what it means is that it is better to go separate ways than living an unhappy marriage. What government should do is to reduce the people's burden by providing a better quality of life in terms of financial, economics etc as one of the major cause of marriage failure is over financial issue. Some were saying that the government has no right to tell people how to lead a marriage, as there is no perfect marriage anyway. Another point is that, PMC is an added burden to the already stressed engaged couple, and can indirectly failed a marriage before it even started.

Yet, there were almost an equally numbers of people who were strongly recommend the government proposal. Their main point is that, apart from financial issue, there were a lot more other equally importants aspect in marriage life that can lead to a divorce. What PMC is all about, is that it will be an avenue for the engaged couple to face and discussed these issues beforehand. There is no example of right or wrong decision and answers being given, but what need to be achieved as much as possible is a mutual understanding between couple. It is also to gain more understanding of each other eventhough their opinion were conflicting, especially for 2 people with opposite characters. The PMC also provokes some prevailing issue that lots of couple does not bother to attend to before their wedding, because most of them rather wait for certain particular issue to surface later on and deal with it only when the times come. If those important subjects can be ironed out, and couples has better understanding of one another, there would be less arguments, couples can enjoy harmony in their married life, and this shall help to save their marriage, at the same time reduce divorce rate.

There are those who were skeptical, but as they do not know what to expect, they do not mind to give it a try. Their only concern is that PMC should be optional.

Coming back to the main point of this post, do you think that Pre-Marriage Course is really beneficial? Do you think that it is a burden? For the married couple, does it help in your married life? Assuming that divorce is unavoidable/allowed, do you think that PMC can help in reducing divorce rate?

What is your say?

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

"What God hath joined, thy shalt not divide" Mark 10:9

cyrildason said...

It boils down to both couples.

I think, the most important thing in a marriage is to understand each others needs, and not pester for something at the wrong time.

One must always try to understand the situation of the other half, and always try to keep the fire burning.

Is PMC needed? Yes.. to an extend it is important to promote better understanding between couples.

Sumuk said...

Anonymous : Thanks for the Biblical words. As what 'pre' means, the join is not there yet. How to ensure that marriage is going to be a happy and peaceful one, not just focusing in staying in a marriage just for the sake of it, before it even started.

cyrildason : thanks for you insight. i agree, understanding with one another esp over trivial matters is very important.

lvynana said...

Is PMC important? Yes

Do you think that PMC can help in reducing divorce rate? Not really.

Anonymous said...

You understand what you writen? Yes? No? Allow me to make you remember it.

"For those who were against the motion, they were saying that government obejctive to reduce divorce rate is wrong in the first place. Divorce by itself is not wrong, and normally it is the last resort taken when the path has reached the end."

Anonymous said...

Has it worked for you? What have you gained and experienced from PMC? Do you now understand your partner better?

GOD Bless

Sumuk said...

Anonymous :
Thanks for coming back again.

Pls see disclaimer i have made in the last sentence : "Assuming that divorce is unavoidable/allowed, do you think that PMC can help in reducing divorce rate?"

This is not about Christian PMC. This is about PMC in general.

It would be nice if you let me know who you are, don't hide behind anonymous being. There is no win or loose, it's just a discussion. No fear my friend.

lyvnana : why do you think so? would love to hear your opinion futher :D

Sumuk said...

anon : not yet. i'm opening the discussion to the readers :D

Anonymous said...

What a great resource!

Anonymous said...

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Thanks

 
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