Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I Feel Bad..

In a matter of few minutes, it will be Babai's BIG three 'o' birthday!! yeay!!

He is so important to me, and yet I am not doing anything for his 'coming of age' year. T_T
Oh my... amm so busy.......... (lame lame...)
This is the time I wish that I am a stay-at-home mum.
I can bake a birthday cake, I can cook his favorite 'sinful' Baba's fish head curry...
I can..
Eh wait.. what mum? we are not even married yet. haha..

Talking about full time housewife, unlike modern career girls nowadays, I still harbour hopes that someday Babai will make enough for the both of us, or even more, so that I can give full attention to him and our future family. But when I have a woman-to-woman talk with my manager, a 45 years old lady engineer who has been working eversince, she advised that I might have to think carefully on that decision. I might be happy for the first few months, or the years when my future kid is still small, but the happy feeling might change to boredom over time because I am already used to working life.

What makes me hesitate also is that, another friend of Babai told me about his wife one day. He said, he told his wife that if she ever decided to become a full-time housewife, do not always spend too much time thinking about what he is doing, where is he going, with whom, when is he coming home for dinner, why was he late... or in another word... paranoid. Oddly enough, I understand exactly what he meant by that. I did that, I think.. Uh huh.. And it scared me so much that I'll be becoming a paranoid housewife, a different side of me who will create my very own drama version of 'Desperate Housewife'.

Lastly, all this while I've been earning my own money, and nobody dictate how I should spent it. But I cannot imagine how it feel to become very dependent on Babai. I can't even fork out/contribute to our meal even if it means spending only RM2.40 for our drinks each time (so stingy, huh!) and I think I will feel guilty on spending/asking for money to pamper myself to my occasional beauty treatment, beautiful clothes and lots and lotsa shoes.

So how leh?

If Babai were to hit his targetted earning and maybe there'll be additional members to the family at the same time, I think I would like to stay at home for a year or two, then come back to work. That is if somebody is still willing to employ me. Hopefully that would be a 9-5 jobs, unlike what I'm having at the moment. Or maybe I can do free-lance/part time with half pay? I don't mind actually. KFC? McDonald? Can?

Anyway, let's see how it goes in a year or two, because as Babai said, my feeling is seasonal and I tend to bring up this issue whenever I was tired and having not enough rest :D

Whatever it is, I want to say Happy Birthday Babai!! May God bless you with enough money so we can get the house that we want, the dream holiday we talked about and the fat bank account that can last until our retirement hihihih!!!

and God willing that we will always be happy, stay strong and get old together...

ps: sorry my dear readers, hold up that puke ok!

Here's the birthday boy, who was so busy layaning his sms instead of me.. HUH!


cdason said...

now I know who babai is..hahahha...

Babai=Granpa.. tot u were talking about ur granpa all this while.

but, yea... I feel women should work. no matter how much money their husband earns.

Sumuk said...

bah. lambat crita pok hihihi!!!

it's good u can see what I am trying to say, points given to you.

but to me, i feel that women should not be restricted to either stay at home, or must work to support the husband. we should be given the choice.

u can't imagine how tiring it is arring home at 9pm at night, and still need to make sure the house is clean, the cloth are ironed, laundry done, food to be cooked, dog to feed and the list go on. I'm lucky that I have someone who are still helpful, but there are some couple who are not so lucky. And we haven't talked about having kids yet.

Kids can be very handful, and I respect so much those women who can juggle both career and family at the same time, especially a demanding career like I do. There are lots of domestic thing it is better for women to do, and yet we are still working as hard as men does.

And the very thing that I scared about is if we are accused of not being able to look after our husband and family just because we did not cook breakfast, or we did not mop the house for a week because we are just too tired going home from work late every night.

I do not say that men is wrong to say that women should work or vice versa, I guess it depends on every person, or every couple how they wanted it to be. But still, it is interesting to hear everybody takes on this matter :D

Anonymous said...

oooo... babai is kesatria baja hitam!!! masked rider !!! hahaha...

i think it's most of the husbands' wish out there to have a loving and caring wife who can take care of the family... but i don't encourage my wife to quit her full time job also... i also agree that it can be quite a big boredom... and also, it's good to earn some money also la.... maybe u can consider being a teacher...

u can teach halfday...the same time ur kids go to school...and after that...when ur school balik sekolah...the same goes for you...

so it's kinda a win-win situation....

Sumuk said...

teacher? oh no!
if u know me any better, you wouldnt suggest that haha!! I don't have talent to teach other people lah.. i just don't have the patience. teaching scares me huhu..

anyway, i understand what u mean. i think i should seriously consider offering a free lance service someday, where i can dictate my own working time with the people i work with. i'll see how it goes. or maybe i can try like what u suggest, but only teach tuition.

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